Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Rick Perry Knows the Why and How!

  Hi 'ya all!  Did the ol' in and out the mop closet again!  I admit, it really was my fault this time.  Angus and I wanted to get out for some fresh air and we went a bit far.  All the way to Bob Evans, in fact.  Why is that such a big deal anyway?  We just wanted some biscuits and gravy and you can't get it any better than at Bob Evans.  So we picked the lock on the elevator, slipped out the service bay and climbed the fence.

  Once we got to Bob Evans and put in our orders we figured we were doing OK.  The waitress was a bit snotty though.  You'd think she'd have learned to be polite by the time she hit her seventies!  Other than that, we were having a great time.  Angus can stick a spoon on his nose and it doesn't fall off!  I tried and it fell down the front of my jammies, which was pretty funny.  While we were giggling and playing Napkin Parachute the nice old couple sitting next to us started up a conversation.  They wanted to know how we felt about the abortion bill in Texas.  We told them we really didn't give a crap, but I don't think they heard us.  Really now, why should a couple of nuts in Michigan give a crap about anything down in Texas?  Except maybe the biscuits and gravy?

  So the old couple kept nattering about some Texas bill that was going to make women have babies whether they wanted to or not.  I got pretty confused.  I mean, how do you make a woman have a baby?  Isn't that kind of impossible?  Then they gave me the name of a website where I could read all about the Holy Mission to make women have babies.  That's when Dr. Idiot and the chefs showed up with the syringes.  Guess that rude waitress dropped a dime on us.  Oh well.  We were going to dine and dash anyway.  When I got out of the mop closet I drank about a gallon of coffee.  Then I told Dr. Idiot that I'd tell everybody about his inflatable sex doll if he didn't let me use the computer.  So here I am.  I looked up that website and sure enough, there was a dandy article on the aforementioned subject.  Here it is.

 Texas Gov. Rick Perry Has All the Answers

 Texas Gov. Rick Perry shows the gals how ta start the baby makin' process. Too bad none of the guys would help him show how ta finish it!

Sometime in June, 2014 
by Mary T. Virginia @moonbattery.com

  So we got hold of Gov. Rick Perry an' he had lots ta say! Like how those Godless feminist sluts in his beautiful state of Texas were tryin' ta tell him what ta do! That's pure stupid! Gov. Perry is a lot smarter than they are an' he's runnin' the state so they should just shut up! So we said, whadda ya got ta say, Gov.?

Me: So, whadda ya got ta say, Gov.?

Him: I got alot ta say about that stupid slut Wendy what's her MAIDEN name with the kid born oudda wedlock! Bitch took up a buncha time runnin' her mouth right there in the Texas buildin' where they do laws when I TOLD 'em ta pass that bill thing! An' she brought a buncha SLUTS with her!

Me: That's pretty darn stupid!

Him: Yup. But I'll make 'em go home an' we'll be stoppin' those baby killin' whore clinics! You'll see! I'm gonna make 'em have those babies!

Me: Darn tootin'! How ya gonna do that?

Him: Don't matter. We're runnin' shorta soldiers ta fight for the Lord an' the United States! How we gonna keep spreadin' democracy? We gotta grow us some new soldiers! How we gonna do that without fresh babies? How we gonna send those soldiers ta die who the heck knows where without babies! So those stupid sluts gotta start spittin' out some babies an' I mean NOW! If they need LESSONS I'm the guy ta show 'em HOW! 

(Look at that photo up there! He ain't kiddin'!)

Me: Gee you're smart Gov.!

Him: That's how come I took over Texas. Next I figger I'll take over the White House. Then we can send our soldiers ta North Korea an' Iran. Ya gotta watch it with those Godless places 'cuz they know all about baby makin'! I'll keep those stupid sluts doin' their duty. I'll hook 'em up with our heros in uniform. We're sure ta get good soldiers out of 'em then! Ya know what they say, breedin' is everything! Just like with cattle.