Thursday, March 28, 2013

Dear Nanabanana X 3!

Well...people just keep asking for my advice even though 2 out of 3 have wound up in jail. Puzzling, isn't it?  I can't just ignore them though. They NEED me!

Dear Nanabanana,

I'm 68 years old, but still young at heart. I fondly remember the '60s and how great those times were. Peace marches, 'make love not war', so many fantastic memories. Heck, I still have my tie dyed T-shirt from Woodstock. It's kind of thin now though. I was walking through the flea market a few months back and noticed how much '60s apparel was available for sale. Not old stuff, new bell bottoms, tie dyed shirts, dresses, peace sign jewelry and etc. It really made me long for the good old days! So, what the heck, I bought a few things. Couldn't resist the tie dyed shirts and low rider bell bottoms. 

It was about 2 weeks later that I found out there was going to be a 60s revival concert at the local community band shell. (I'm in southern California.) I decided to go, while my wife was attending some (snort) Republican political meeting. Man, I had a bitchin' time! There were 6 bands playing the old rock & roll, kids were dancing and smoking weed. It was fantastic! So I decided to attend every rock concert I could find around here. Pretty soon, the kids at the concerts started to recognize me and I got a reputation for being a sage from the old days. I have to admit it was an ego booster. At the last concert some kids invited me into their restored Volkswagen van to smoke weed. So I did it. It was great!

Here's where the problem comes in. I was hangin' naked in the back yard, (we've got a privacy fence) just playing my old Fender acoustic, when my wife came out and had herself a fit. She said she didn't know who I was anymore, the kids were embarrassed to bring their friends home, blah, blah, blah. I told her if she just came along with me to some concerts instead of supporting the military-industrial complex maybe she could stop taking Lithium. That didn't go over well at all. 

So here I am, a stranger in my own home, getting no respect and being vilified by my own family. Is it so wrong to be on the outside who I've always been on the inside? Is there something I could do to get back on my family's good side and still stay in the groove?

Thank you,
Not So Good Vibrations

Dear NSGV,

Can you say brownies?  I'm amazed you haven't thought of it yourself!  For heaven's sake!  You're in CALIFORNIA!  Keep your family stoned to the bone and life will smooth out for you.  (Well, might not work with the kids. Kids always hate their folks anyway.)  While I'm aware that some people would call what you're going through a 'midlife crises', I couldn't disagree more.  In your case, it's a reaffirmation that you're experiencing.  You've been subverting your true nature since you 'grew up'.  If you've been keeping up, you know that another guy, 'Uneasy Rider', went through something similar.  Well, maybe that's not such a good example, since he got in a lot of trouble, but what you're doing is much healthier.  Everybody needs to have fun and I can't imagine why your wife doesn't understand that. 

I'm betting that if you bug the old lady until she attends a few concerts she'll forget all about being a Republican, (especially if she's buzzed). So get some weed, burn some incense and let the good times roll!    

 Your friend,