Sunday, November 25, 2012

Chopping Zombies

I saw a really interesting story about killing zombies with a Trucker's Friend, which is a heavy chopping tool. I wish I could show everybody the picture.  It's really pretty!   (The zombies pictured below are hungry zombies, not chopped up zombies.)  But for pity's sake!  Everybody knows zombies aren't alive, therefor, they can't technically be killed!  Of course you CAN chop them up, but is it advisable to take a Trucker's Friend away from a trucker?  I can tell you this, truckers tend to be very testy, especially if they've been on a 36 hour run!  I know this because a trucker tried to run me down when I stole his truck.  Thankfully, truckers don't move very fast without their trucks.  But back to zombies.  I know for a FACT that it's pointless to chop up zombies.  Mitt Romney told me in a dream that he's been snapping up all the dead people for years and they've all been converted to Mormon zombies.  Since he's been so busy he's ordered his 42 secret wives in Utah to pick up the slack and get those zombies decked out in Mormon underwear.  He said the Mormon church has been doing this good work since Brigham Young met Jesus.  Well, that's a comfort!  I don't know if Mormon zombies, in Mormon underwear, are protected from being chopped up, but since there's so many of them attending the Mormon churches I'd have to guess the answer is yes.