We all had a lovely Thanksgiving here in the maximum security
psychiatric facility. I've never seen so much food flying through the
air! A bunch of the fellows formed a human pyramid, you know, like
cheerleaders? The top guy grabbed the ceiling light fixture by the mesh
cover and oh boy! He swung up there until his pants fell off! He
looked just like the angel on top of the Christmas tree! The chef
brought in a few of his junior chefs and they were so angry! Maybe they
should be patients here! They brought in a ladder and tried to pull
the guy down but that guy has a great grip. So the ladder fell over,
the chefs wound up with mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce all over
their white chef clothes and we all applauded. You can't get better
than that on a Thanksgiving day! I hope you all had a great holiday.
If you have a demented grandma in your family you probably get to have
the flying food thing going on.
If all you get is turkey baloney and
the fixings you're doing better than a lot of other people. You can
always rub turkey baloney on your armpits and enjoy the smell for at
least a day. You might want to resist stealing those blow-up holiday
decorations on you neighbor's lawn though. One time I stole an
inflatable Turkey and painted it to look like Sarah Palin, complete with
the glasses, red jacket and frosted brown hair-do. When the police
came they laughed and laughed. One of them actually had coffee and
donuts squirt out his nose! The folks I stole it from weren't happy,
even though they were Republicans. Some people just don't know a
tribute when they see one. I know darn well that Sarah Palin likes to
kill turkeys because I saw her hanging out at the turkey slaughter house
on TV awhile back. If you see her tell her I said "High"! She and I
have so much in common!
Are your stories real or just made up? I enjoyed reading them though...
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